Twilight Blah....

Ok so I was going to post a book review but on the way home Cocktails with Patrick (Sirius 111) was talking about Twilight - the books and the movie. And if I knew Patrick I would freaking kiss him (I love him anyway because he makes my ride home a little bit better) but he finally said what I've been thinking forever - Twilight is garbage. Now before all the Twilight fans throw stones at me (or blood).... let me back up my statement.

I will first off say I don't know if the movies are bad (Patrick said New Moon was a complete waste of time and I tend to agree with him because I wouldn't be caught dead in that theater) but I can't talk about the movies because I hated the books so much there is no way in hell I'd sit through those movies.

So let's discuss the books. First, they aren't my typical read. 1. I'm not a teenage girl 2. I'm not into vampires and 3. I just don't typically read sci-fiction (are vampires and werewolves sci-fi?). But since I kept hearing about how these are the best books ever and it seemed like as big of deal as Harry Potter (and I've read all of those) I figured I'd give it a try. Harry Potter books and Twilight books don't even deserve to be in the same category. Harry Potter books are well-writen, have great plots and basically are just all around better books. Think of this way - it's one thing to have one really well-written book, it's another to have seven books that not only work together but stand-alone and all have plots to them.

So let me start by saying I read all four of the Twilight books (or whatever the series is called). I thought ok I didn't like the last one but let's see it has to get better because people really like them. My reccommendation is they don't get better and it's a complete waste of time and paper.

Here are my problems with the books:

1. Bella has absolutely no life outside of Edward. And Edward for a 100's of year old vampire has little life or interest outside of Bella. Let's get real for a second - teenage girls don't need to read some dribble about how this poor girl can't live without Edward's love. Give me a break. Does she even have other friends, can she join a sports team or get a job?

2. The whole plot of all four books can basically be boiled down to this... Bella loves Edward. Bella is human. Edward is a vampire. Edward against his better judgment loves Bella. They can be together. They can't be together. Bella might love Jacob (who happens to be a werewolf who is supposed to kill vampires). Following along still? Bella gets into more scraps than anyone I know. The girl has some serious bad luck. But not to worry the good "vegeterian" vampires (Edward and his family) will save her just in the knick of time. So this drags on for four books. Before Edward and Bella get married, have a half-vampire/half-human child, narrowly avoid getting destroyed by the head vampires before they can go live happily ever after as vegeterian vampires together (Edward has to "save" Bella's life by turning her into a vampire). Ok... really? I could turn those four books into one book... or look I did it in one paragraph. This drags on and on like a bad soap opera. It's a will they/won't they of high school proportions.

3. The books just aren't that well-written. No offense. I'm sorry. I know I don't have any best-seller books published but get an editor and 1. cut dialogue and descriptions you don't need (the books could be a 100 pages shorter) and 2. edit - meaning don't repeat yourself six thousand times. I get it Bella smells good to Edward and Edward is basically this dreamy pale white hunk.

I just wish if someone is going to write a book for teenage girls it would have some kind of plot to it that they can learn from. This isn't 1955 here, girls need to know that 1. they can have a job and stand on their own two feet and 2. being in love isn't the end all goal that you should have in life. Being in love is nice but having a life outside of that is pretty good too. Besides I imagine in five years or so Bella and Edward aren't going to have much to talk about to each other since all they do is hang out with each other. Boring!

So I'm sorry if I offended any Twilight fans but I just don't get it. I've also read Stephanie Meyers other book The Host - just as a quick summary so this blog isn't too long. It's basically a rework of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Aliens take over our planet and our bodys using us as host. Humans have to fight for the right to live against the parasites but at the same time learn that the aliens aren't all bad. It was ok. I'm not going to reccomend it because out of five stars I'd probably give it two. I ended up skimming the end because like Twilight it drags.

So my title sums it up for me Twilight was just blah. Save a tree and don't even check those books out from the library.